* TO NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT IT AT ALL
I spent hours designing my Myspace when I was twelve years old and while it gave me the technological training fit for a member of Steve Jobs' special ops. unit, Myspace eventually imploded into a meaningless, semi-comical, nostalgic experience of teenage mistakes and dust.
So why at the age of twenty-seven as a professional artist do I still feel the need to carefully curate and spend hours on the way I look on Instagram? Occasionally I will saunter across someones immaculately artistic and color-coded page and wonder why they look so fabulous and I look uncomfortably real. It will usually turn into a long OCD fueled rage-archive of my entire page so it all matches and I look like a color-coded robot.
Then when it's completed I feel like an empty loser... where are all of my music posts? Who am I really without my clutter and business? And plus, who am I trying to impress anyway? No one on my team, bandmates, friends, partners alike have ever made a negative comment about my social media posts, if anything I've been given really kind praise.
It's important to just be real, not just on Instagram but in all that is done. Usually these kinds of things don't get to me, I will be the first to condemn social media and how stupid it is. However, I definitely fall victim to it, especially in my weaker moments. My intense OCD generally makes me question my identity heavily and often, but who doesn't?
Either way, social media now is just another fad that the human condition has latched onto and I don't blame myself for being drawn to it, but I have been a bit more mindful in spending my time more wisely, by reading more, writing my lyrics down on paper, having more tangible items in my life (like plants and cacti), putting limits on my phone (and attempting to obey them as best as I can) because I don't want to contribute to the dark period that social media and media fads will eventually (and have already) caused.
I try to remind myself that I'm only here for a short time, so I am pushing myself to use my time much more wisely.
Two books I've read/begun to read in the last week:
Be Fierce, Gretchen Carlson:
Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert: